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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740609">i can’t let go when you still need saving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree'>WishingTree</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, this is really shaky but i tried!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:33:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the time comes for the Spree to send an agent after some witch named <em>Raelle Collar</em>, Scylla isn’t surprised to be chosen for the assignment. Her orders are to get close by any means necessary, and she can read between the lines and see the not–so–veiled threat there. Failure is not an option for the Spree.</p><p>That’s fine. She knows she can do it.</p><p>After all, she’s very good at pretending.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>188</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i can’t let go when you still need saving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Trash_13/gifts">Fandom_Trash_13</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So as much as I recognize the weaknesses of this show and its writing, that doesn’t change the fact that I am very intrigued in the potential of what it could be.<br/>(Bear in mind that I’m honestly so confused about the rules of their world and the limitations of their magic)</p><p>I’m also really confused about the vibe I’ve been getting from Scylla, but god do I hope she turns out to be a character I root for! We’ll have to wait for future episodes to see, and canon will probably be throwing most of this out the window in the process</p><p>Title from 'Killing Me to Love You' by Vancouver Sleep Clinic;</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scylla is good at a lot of things.</p><p>She’s good at magic, yes, and she’s good in combat. She’s good at planning and reacting in extreme situations, good at thinking on her feet, good at everything that’s required of her to be an efficient solder. Most of all, Scylla is good at pretending.</p><p>It’s like second nature to her now, hiding her emotions and motives in every situation. She knows how to school her expression and hide her reactions, knows how to put up a front to achieve what she wants, and knows how to hide her real self, no matter what. </p><p>Nobody ever notices, and that’s how she knows she’s good at it.</p><p>Scylla is good <em>at</em> a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean she’s <em>good</em>. She isn’t a good daughter, she isn’t a good friend, and she certainly isn’t a good person. She knows that she’s crossed more than just a couple lines, but it doesn’t matter because this will all be worth it in the end. </p><p>Everything will be worth it.</p><p>So when the time comes for the Spree to send an agent after some witch named <em>Raelle Collar</em>, she isn’t surprised to be chosen for the assignment. Her orders are to get close by any means necessary, and she can read between the lines and see the not–so–veiled threat there. Failure is not an option for the Spree.</p><p>That’s fine. She knows she can do it.</p><p>After all, she’s very good at pretending. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Raelle Collar is… interesting.</p><p>Scylla follows her when she skips out on training in the middle of her first week in favour of wandering out to the far training grounds. One of the senior witches is practicing summoning and controlling simultaneous tornadoes, and even to Scylla it’s an impressive sight. Raelle is standing by the fence, and Scylla saunters up to her casually, trying to break the ice and returning Raelle’s terse, tired comments with playful ones of her own until she starts to smile.</p><p>They get caught, obviously, and together spout some terrible excuse about looking for the infirmary before they’re ordered back to their sergeants. Scylla makes sure she had looked the appropriate amount of startled when she first senses them coming, and then unrepentant and irked when they leave.</p><p>This is so easy. </p><p>“Walk you back?” Raelle offers with a tilt of her head, and Scylla is proud that she’s successfully drawn her in with only a couple of minutes. She searches her eyes, seeing the way they’re crinkling up at the corners from their shared laughter, and she nods.</p><p>“I’m Scylla,” she says, her voice just the slightest bit softer than she intended it to be, but in this case it works in her favour so she doesn’t mind. Raelle grins, small and bright and captivating as they begin their trek towards the barracks, and Scylla watches her when she ducks her head and looks away.</p><p>“I’m Raelle.” </p><p><em>I know</em>, Scylla thinks, and she pretends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lounging in an infirmary bed after their stint with the Salva, Scylla watches the healer fuss over Raelle across the room. She knows that she’ll find no adverse side effects, had made sure of the dosage herself before giving the Salva to her in the first place, but it’s still fun exchanging secretive looks with Raelle until she’s cleared.</p><p>Drill sergeant Quartermaine approaches the foot of her bed, and internally Scylla wonders if she should be concerned about how suspicious the woman is of her, warily snapping her attention away from Raelle.</p><p>“I don’t know what your game is, but my eyes are on you.” </p><p>Scylla knows that Raelle must be special to have so much of the Spree’s attention focused on her, but is it possible that Quartermaine knows some of it too?</p><p>“Stay away from her,” Quartermaine orders lowly, magic hovering around her words in threat, and Scylla pales. “Far away. As if your life depended on it.”</p><p>Scylla loses the face off, unequipped to resist for more than a couple seconds, and when Quartermaine leaves she finds herself breathing heavily and trying to swallow down her sudden unease. </p><p>Her life depended on the exact opposite, actually. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everyone hears about the fight between Raelle and the newest Bellweather during training, but Scylla is still a little surprised when Raelle comes to her afterwards. She’s pleased, of course, but she hadn’t realized that she’d already made such an impression on her. </p><p>She knows she has to convince Raelle to abandon her terrible plan of giving up when they’re only still in training for the war, because the Spree want her, and they want her alive. Besides, the idea of her dying a horrid death as soon as she hits the front lines doesn’t sit well with Scylla for some reason, and manipulating her into changing her mind shouldn’t be too hard.</p><p>She recognizes the hopeless resignation in Raelle’s voice when she speaks, and so she turns away from her mirror to face her. She offers her the obvious alternative solution, and then… she kisses her.</p><p>It’s mostly meant to distract her from the thoughts she knows are swirling through her head and give her something better to focus on. She pulls away to gauge the reaction, wondering if she’s miscalculated the breadth of Raelle’s attraction to her, though she’s pretty sure she hasn’t. </p><p>She has a spiel ready on the tip of her tongue now, grand words designed to persuade and impassion, but then <em>Raelle</em> kisses <em>her</em>, and… okay. So that throws her a little.</p><p>She gasps when Raelle presses her gently up against the wall, their faces unbelievably close together, and at Raelle’s prompting still tries to get the words out as smoothly as possible, tries to plant the ideas in her head as Raelle touches her.</p><p>She actually manages to do it damn well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Days pass, and they get closer. She learns more about Raelle, Raelle learns more about herself, and it’s so easy for her to play her role.</p><p>Of course, there have been a few moments where she’s found it surprisingly tricky to keep her face impassive, to keep up her facade and not let her real emotions show, but it’s nothing she can’t handle.</p><p>She’s still good at this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Waking up with Raelle in her bed is… challenging. The sun is beginning to stream through the window, catching warmly on Raelle’s hair that is splayed out across the pillow while the blanket is bunched up around her waist, and she looks… peaceful.</p><p>It’s a sight that causes Scylla to crease her brow and stare, idly wondering why this is the sight that’s causing the most turmoil, and why she can’t seem to put a name to it.</p><p>Once Raelle stirs herself awake, it’s easier for Scylla to slip back into her role of alluring girlfriend, being coy and teasing. Raelle is happy to respond, but does eventually get herself out of bed and begin to pull her clothes back on.</p><p>Both to make conversation and also to pry, Scylla asks about Abigail Bellweather, assuming Raelle is still frustrated by their fight. She expects a curt reaction, maybe some resentful comment, but Raelle immediately shrugs it off.</p><p>“That’s just the world she comes from, that’s her family.” </p><p>Her voice doesn’t sound bitter, and Scylla tilts her head. That answer would be enough to give her pause if she wasn’t so focused on maintaining her persona, and she stores it away to analyze later.</p><p>“Where do you come from? Since we’re on the subject,” Raelle asks curiously, and Scylla has the answers prepared, a convenient combination of vague and completely uninformative. She tries to continue their playful exchange, but Raelle doesn’t let it go until the bells sound and Scylla seizes the opportunity to change the subject. It obviously doesn’t go unnoticed, and Raelle rushes away with a hasty brushoff. </p><p>Annoyed by her inability to handle this with more grace, Scylla berates herself as she watches her go, and then she’s even more annoyed by the pang of concern she feels somewhere deep inside her chest, something that wants to go after Raelle and check on her to make sure she isn’t too hurt.</p><p>She squashes that feeling as ferociously as she can, until it’s like it was never there at all. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She pretends to be Lieutenant Helen Graves for the night, and nobody suspects a thing. It makes sense given the flawless physical disguise and the fact that, again, Scylla is very good at this, but for the first time since Scylla can remember, she has something restless inside of her. There’s some sort of unwelcome feeling twisting in her stomach, something unpleasant that’s making her feel ill at ease, and she doesn’t understand why.</p><p>She contemplates it as the night goes on, and it’s interesting to see Raelle interact with her when she doesn’t know that it’s <em>her</em>. She’s polite and engaged, but her eyes don’t hold the fascinated fondness Scylla is used to seeing, and maybe that has something to do with it.</p><p>Interesting. </p><p>It’s a calculated move, revealing the ‘gossip’ about herself to Raelle, and she surprises herself with it, unsure if she’s pushing her away or enticing her closer. The indecision is written on her face in a way that Scylla hasn’t allowed for herself in years, and she wants to smooth it all away.</p><p>“Give your special necro a minute to open up,” Scylla says finally, “I bet she’s worth it.” </p><p>It’s an easily justifiable comment. She needs Raelle to trust her, so having a seemingly unbiased external source give her a little well–meaning encouragement would be helpful in that respect.</p><p>And if maybe she wants it a little too much for reasons unrelated to her <em>mission</em>, well… she can easily pretend otherwise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Normally it’d be a bit of a weird move to show the person you’re trying to impress something <em>dead</em>, but they’re not normal, and she bites back a smile because Raelle had just voiced the same thought in calling her weird.</p><p>“Where are you taking me?” Raelle asks, willingly following along.</p><p>Scylla tells her she’s looking for something recently dead, and when Raelle expresses her confusion, she finds herself turning around so she can see her properly.</p><p>“I want to show you something beautiful.” </p><p>She can tell that Raelle doesn’t understand yet, but that’s alright – either way, she’s a girl that deserves beautiful things.</p><p>They go crouch over a dead bird, and she sings a mushroom into growing before their eyes. She’s pleased with herself, because it’s not a simple piece of magic, and then she settles on her heels to try and explain her point.</p><p>“In the kingdom of plants, mushrooms occupy the underworld. Nothing ever really dies.” It’s a thought that’s comforted her before, and she wonders if getting Raelle to understand this will help down the line. “Life becomes death, which becomes life again, over and over.” </p><p>The quiet of the woods around them is flush with life, and Scylla listens to it all as she watches Raelle stare at the mushroom stalk.</p><p>“My mom is really dead,” she says evenly, and Scylla is hit with the urge to drop it and pull her into a hug instead. But the rest of her knows that there’s more that must be said.</p><p>“Sorry, I know it’s a sensitive subject. I just mean to say that… death is more complicated than people think. It’s not so cut and dry.” She keeps her eyes on Raelle, watches the way she drops her gaze, and thinks to herself that she should try to make her feel better. “And… I’m sorry about the other day. I don’t talk about myself very easily.” </p><p>She had been planning to give her an appropriately heartfelt apology, so she doesn’t know why saying the words now is making her feel so vulnerable. She doesn’t like it.</p><p>“Take as much time as you need,” Raelle murmurs, still watching her with those eyes that display so many emotions, and Scylla feels her resolve begin to waver. Raelle is guarded, that’s true, but she always shines so brightly just under the surface.</p><p>It’s kind of terrifying, that concept.</p><p>“I’ve been burned before,” she tells her, partly in warning but also morbidly pleased with the double meaning that only she understands. It falls short of a joking tone she’s aiming for, and she shows a hint of hesitation that feels startlingly real.</p><p>It stays quiet, and then Raelle astounds her once more.</p><p>“You are so beautiful,” Raelle whispers, and Scylla has to physically stop herself from drawing back in surprise, lifting her eyes to meet hers. Raelle’s gaze is steady as she moves, gently cupping her face and pulling her forward into a kiss, and Scylla lets her eyes flutter shut.</p><p>She knows there’s more to come, knows there’s more work to be done and more lies to be told, but in this moment it all seems so insignificant.</p><p> </p><p>For just a moment, she doesn’t have to pretend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><br/>– – </p><p>– – </p><p>– – </p><p>(It doesn’t last)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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